MAD//YOU UPGRADEmag// feb 27  2001
The UPGRADEmag
is a global edutainment round-up ‘broadcast’ weekly to =[9247]= Trance// New Age// Alternative// Activist folks who have been recommended to the Parallel YOUniversity/ Megatripolis Dance Dept as "showing signs of life".  Msince many choose to forward it to their own lists, we estimate 18,600+ recipients. And, because of its less 'specialist' content, it's increasingly being posted on a variety of sites worldwide, making a total ‘readership’ of, conservatively, 155,000+

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'MARCH AGAINST DRUGS' (MAD) (YOU 2321)
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hey fraser,
keep up the good work!!!  man you crack me up!
DJ fatkat

YOU 2314        OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO   sign outside a photographer's studio:

SAT APRIL 7     THE DEN OF ENLIGHTENMENT
PRE-VIEW LAUNCH PARTY of the only intelligent & intimate regular little club in the planetary capital of Rave Culture.
PARALLEL YOUNIVERSITY's Dance Department MEGATRIPOLIS which is presenting the event has so far confirmed the following:

THE DANCEFLOOR  nonstop psychedelic enlightening, trance
MARK SINCLAIR (TBC), ULTRA (tbc)

CROW'S NEST CABARETHEATRE   if 24 hours of The Warp blew you away, you're probably ready for John Constable's Southwark Mysteries (scenes from) ably assisted by pagan poets, genetically modified geniuses and udder oddballs.
3am on - Veteran DJ
Frankie Dee doses the after party with sooper sophisticated jazz-funk loons and toons for the late nite boyz and girlz around town

DEBATE PLAYSHOP
First in a season of playshops on Neo-Ancient Underground Spiritual Alchemical Sexual Sects & Revolutionary Shamanic Movements of Britain is "Why Jesus Recommends Shop Lifting As Valid Spiritual, Political Action" and "Why If You Want Any Sort Of Future You Gotta Get Off Your Ass And Start With Your Friends To Get Real Peoples Government Going In Your Local Community" by John Papworth, 82, ecologist, baker, priest, economist, journalist & futurist (jailed with Bertrand Russell for '60s ban the bomb activities etceteras etcetera)

PRIMORDIAL SOUKH - lie down and be enchanted.

THERAPY
- Yasmin Perez, ITEC, offers Gestalt, Shiatsu, Chiropractic, Ayurveda, Thai, Vibrational/ Singing/ Massage. Essential oils. Insured.  ALSO Dance Massage Classes.
- Liz the Holistic Hippy, IIHHT Diploma in Holistic Therapies with vtct, offers Swedish body massage, Aromatherapy, Reflexology, Crystal healing.  ALSO counseling & meditation techniques.

ENRICHMENTS CAFE-   Everybody's favourite chef, Lizzy Rainbow (NAHS cert, Permaculture Design cert) presents vegan enrichments/buffet, chai, filter coffee & microbiotic funballs. "Discretion is the better part of dinner".  Games, including The Enlightenment Game, and HeadMaster Fraser taking on all comers at GO, the oldest game in the world.   Fluffy WICKID LIKWID music from tbc

Any questions, ask
The Wizard (played by Caress)

CYBER LINK-UPS with Geoff Gilbertson (The Dark Gods author)

The Imperial Gardens, 299 Camberwell New Road, London SE5 (Oval tube, Bus 36/185)    11pm-6am     £10/£6 

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LAUNCH PARTY
    SAT MAY 5   11pm-6am  £10/£6  then every second Saturday - MAY 19, June 2, ETC
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YOU 2315        THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.  (DOOR KEPT LOCKED. PLEASE USE SIDE DOORsign on a church door


WED FEB 26      Donald Bradman died, greatest batsman of all time and a very modest man.  He was 92, 7 years less than his average innings: 99.

YOU 2316

DON'T SAY FOOT IN MOUTH!
The latest theory for the outbreak of Foot And Mouth Disease in Britain is that animal liberationists might have done it.  I'd say it's even more likely that Saddam did it, or some Palestinian.  I certainly would if I was them, wouldn't you? 
You could bring it (or anthrax or stuff I don't even want to think about) into the country in a tiny vial or probably even on a piece of tissue paper.  Totally unstoppable.  If we push any group to the extreme, then just one piece of tissue paper can produce a billion pounds of damage or worse.
What does all this scary talk prove?  Only that a hugely complex and interrelated global world like we are moving into needs a much more equal, transparent and democratic/cooperative society
OR ELSE!. No zillion dollar star wars shield can stop people!
Every time I hear of an act of "non governmental" terrorism, the first question I always ask is:  what could possibly have driven someone to take the lives of accidental others like that?  The pain and alienation must have been as deep as it can get!  Is our culture missing something here?  We better find out fast! 
A good start would be to calculate the real cost of things like "cheap food" or "cheap energy" or even "cheap defence". Are they really cheap by the time you've added in the desperate acts of people driven to their moral limit?

YOU 2317        HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG.  20p DO-IT-YOURSELF   sign outside a farm

TUESDAY BOOMERANGS
Every Tuesday 10pm-12am BOOMERANG on Puredm Radio,  that madman Voy (of Apple Bomb Bubble Gum magazine fame) presents the sound of london's underground bouncy hard house at its best.
www.puredm.com

YOU 2318

FRIDAY MARCH 2  SYNAPSE
* Deep Psychedelic Trance: 
James Monro (Flying RhinoShahara (Planet Easton) Hydra (SilverbackDashwind (Techtonic) and Chameleon
* Hard/Uplifting/Hi-NRG - Fusion (ColourboxMatt Handy (Hands OnJossi (SynapseItchy Head (PrivatekkChris (Synapse)
* Hip-hop/Esoteric/Ambient -
Greg Nice (Big Daddy) Scratch Crew Dixie & Juice (Steel DevilsRob Nota (Uber)  Dan Smif (Total Eclipse) and MORPH
Awesome digital G.A.E. Soundsystems.  Intelligent Strobe & Scan lightshow by VISUAL REALITY.  TRULY Interactive Theatre group, CIRCADELICUS, Live VJ mixing, Free Fruit,   Face Painting, Manga Visuals, Bongos, Jugglers, Stalls.
Tyssen Street Studios, Dalston, E8 (Highbury tube, bus.30)  10pm-tube start!
futurefathers@hotmail.com

YOU 2319        WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.  (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON DOOR - BELL DOESN'T WORK)
London
WRITING STRONG SONGS?
Quirky Perkys are looking for artistes with strong songs to play at least 20 mins.  They're on 103 lancaster road, 100 yards from the right of ladbroke tube station.   Contact Tommy (Da Hat) Kennedy on 07977005516 or Gigs@zodoa.co.uk
www.zodoa.com>www.zodoa.com

YOU 2320
Glasgow
SUN APRIL
1     'MARCH AGAINST DRUGS' (MAD)
The Daily Record (Scotland's Daily Mirror) have organised a 'March Against Drugs' (MAD) with the help of Scotland's biggest homophobe, Brian Souter and Mothers Against Drugs (also MAD). This is part of an ongoing campaign by Scotland Against Drugs (SAD) and the Daily Record's 'shop a dealer' campaign.
This is all true, but wait.......it gets better.
This March is scheduled to take place on (wait for it)
April 1st!!!  This has got to be an opportunity to fire back.  It's in Glasgow, and surely there's enough organisational skill out there to fire some fun into the event. A ghetto blaster with the theme music to 'The Emperor Wears No Clothes' playing, people dressed up as clowns joining the demo, someone dressed up as an Alien with a placard saying 'TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER'.  C'mon Scottish Zippies, get cracking!
A good contact address might be Scottish Socialist Youth (
SISSY?) who at least, as an organisation, are opposed to this.   Keef Tomkinson & Jo Harvie, Scottish Socialist Youth, 73 Roberston St, Glasgow.   : 0141-221-7714 & 7715

YOU 2321        THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW   sign outside a new town hall to be opened byPrince Charles.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADVERTISINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
30 - SUN APRIL 1        The South Coast Weekender
Welcome to chalet culture - 2 Allnighters, 2 Alldayers, a bed, shower, TV - presented by Privilege, BBC Radio 1, ClubClass, Pure Silk & South Africa's popular Filthykrew who are hosting the backroom for the entire weekend.  All filthykrew members & friends will get a free upgrade to a "deluxe" chalet, free entry into the VIP bar with free booze!
Room 1 - Dave Pearce,, Brandon Block, Ferry Corsten, John Kelly, John "00" Fleming, Safri Duo (live in concert), Darren Stone, Lisa Pin Up, etc etc.
Room 2 - Artful Dodger, The Dreem Teem's Mikee B & Timmi Magic, Matt Jam Lamont, M J Cole, Masterstepz, DJ S, DJ Lewi, Lady Spirit.
Room 3. Filthykrew's Party Palace - DJ Watcha, Lee Garner, Roberto Marroni, Notushabi. Clive Watson & Neil James (Beat Petite) Pete Timber.
Pool parties during the day, film shows, a programme of entertainment, on site restaurants, shops, arcades, indoor heated swimming pools, sports centre, crazy golf, go karting & sandy beaches 2 minutes away.
Pontin's Holiday Centre @ Camber Sands, East Sussex (nr Hastings).  £89 inc.  £30 secures your place. 
INFO, brochures & booking forms call Filthy Promotions on 07932 573 502 / 0208 749 6330
info@filthykrew.com
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADVERTISINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Been really missing your mailouts I moved company and lost the connection. however due to a karmanic twist of fate, I came to the office this morning to find your YOUniversity mailout in my inbox.WAHAAYYYY.......viva la revolution.
I must also add to this. although i regularly get your mail outs, and thus never miss them, they are THE most colourful emails i get all week!!!
cheers for that!!
Bob@peekmagazine.com

YOU 2322

WHAT'S EATING YOU?
GM ingredients may be gone from supermarkets' own brand foods, but GM continues to be fed to the animals reared for meat, egg and dairy produce. Three quarters of the world’s GM crops are used as animal feed, and the majority of British dairy cattle eat GM feed.  But the customer-caring supermarkets still won’t label their GM-fed goods as GM.  I wonder why.
Thus far the only way to avoid GM animal produce is to be strictly organic or strictly vegan. However, all the major UK supermarkets have made a commitment to stop using GM-fed animal produce, except Sainsbury’s, Somerfield and Safeway.
Sainsbury’s, despite their advertising promoting their organic and GM-free foods, are working with the National Farmers Union on a report actually promoting GM animal feed.
While on this subject, pay particular attention to the steady drip drip of positive GM stories planted in the press.  It's spin at its worst, trying to make the whole thing seem an inevitable and wonderful paradise of the future.

YOU 2323        CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS   notice in health food shop window

FRI MARCH 9     Chimaera 4 Femi 9 Product
A night of trance, techno, house, garage, drum & bass, jungle old school and funk as a fund raiser for the annual Cannabis Carnival in Brockwell Park on 5th march - the entertainment licence for the park alone cost £4000.  As Femi-9 product are doing a marquee at the park again, they'll be putting on this fund raiser with chimaera, who have another tent.
Gavin   Flambettes   Matt James   Bud-G   Offshore   Halo   Vlad ‘n’ dushka   Kryptonite   Pat Hurley   VJs: Miss Plunkett   Mad knitter   Paddy Paine   Caberet Spielraum   silly cnut   heidi - installation    MC shay-dee
10pm - 4am.  £5.  Telegraph, 228 Brixton Hill SW2.

YOU 2324

END OF THE DROME.  OFFICIAL
it's definite, the DROME has closed for good.  last minute attempts to rally the "community" behind legal efforts to save it did not materialise or succeed.
anyone who knows anything of the history of the
Warp Experience at the Drome will not be surprised to hear that the news of adam gentle williams losing it does not upset anyone here.
i would still maintain that, if the Drome management had not forced us out by trying to take our event over, we would have continued to raise the whole level of the place to an artistic level that would have made it publicly untouchable. 
my plan, if we'd continued there, would have been to re-open after xmas with a straighter version of
The Warp Experience on the Fridays (more jazz, maybe even a little rock and roll!) to attract a straighter more suburban audience who'd been hearing about it in the media, and would have continued with another Experience on the   Saturdays, with a couple of shorter plays (like the Southwark Mysteries!), debates, choirs, comedians etc etc in the theatre space. 
thus people could have gone for a 48 hour experience, and the whole scene would have attracted in a whole new crowd and thus would have spread the new culture to tens of thousands more people! 
YOU KNOW IT WOULD HAVE WORKED, and the whole show could by now have taken america by storm, spreading The Word all the way.  greed got in the way.  ah, well.   but, on the other hand, who knows for sure?  all I know is that karma is unstoppable.
an era is over!  roll on the next stage!
fraser.

YOU 2325
Sheffield, UK
SUN MARCH 4     SUNDAZE
A night out in Bristol, in Sheffield as members of Bristol's Cube Cinema invade SUNDAZE, with Lovewig of Stten Aggregates Records creating abstract sonic cartography for armchair enthusiasts and combining with Pan-A-Vision's mobile optical massage salon, first session free, from The Cube Cinema.
Revolution, Mappin St., Sheffield S1.  7pm onwards.  FREE.
sundaze@easyliving.com

YOU 2326

Work like you don't need money.
Dance like nobody's watching you.
Love like you've never been hurt.
merrick

YOU 2327        BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS   sign in a department store

It has occurred to me that you guys miss all the amazingly interesting correspondence the UPGRADE gives rise to.  at any given moment I'm involved in maybe 50 ongoing wordwide discussions, arguments, zippy conspiracies and blazing battles on some issue or the other. 
to give you a bit of a flavour, this one from JiJu2000 this week.

> I will support anything that brings down the Rave Culture.

hey, that's great.  just a few years ago people like you were telling me it would never take off and was irrelevant.  progress!  evolution!
could i ask you an honest question?: do you sometimes start to get the feeling that you're in a rapidly shrinking minority, an evolutionary branch that died out, maybe even all on your own?

> Most of those involved with the Rave scene are either junkies or drug dealing scum.  And the sooner the planet is rid of them, it wont be a moment to soon.

i HOPE u r coming from an intelligent enuff position that you're including barkeepers and tobacconists.  If so u r worth arguing with.  I mean, since alcohol's the only well known drug that actually kills brain cells, it gets awful boring discussing anything with them (as I'm sure their wives or children could amply testify).

actually i've never met a junkie knowingly at any club i would waste my time visiting.  drug-dealing, can't argue with that, but it might be almost as true of a bus or that mercedes passing your window right now.

I have lost friends and family in one way or another to the rave scene in england.  And I can tell you first hand as a parent. Its not nice to watch as your own children suffer as I had to do.

i'm going to make a wild guess here and state that i think you're largely making this bit up, i mean vastly exaggerating it in your own head.  details?

All the rave scene does is to fuel the supply of drugs to kids who know no better.

and you do, right?  and you wouldn't mind stuffing it down everyone's throat?  would that be for their good or for yours?  and i HOPE u r against all drugs and not an anaesthetized alcy dumbrain because that would be too too sad.  i'm a psychologist so you can be open and frank with me. 

It has nothing to do with music.  Because without the drugs, they couldnt understand the so called music anyway.

there we agree.  the two go together.  dancing, drugs and music have been a people's favourite since about the time the first monkey stood up on her rear legs, waved her arms in the air, and nibbled a magic mushroom on the african plain.  certainly all major religions started that way till the priests took over and made careers out of it.   it's you and your kind who are the historical minority, a strange breed who grew up on '50s morality, and massive commercialism that made them afraid of just about everything from dirt to the neighbours and of course whatever took you away from 'their' plan to keep you identified as a 'worker ant'.
repeat along with the tv:  I LIVE TO WORK, I LIVE TO WORK, I LOVE MY WORK, I LOVE MY WORK….
truly, on behalf of my species, i apologise for the terrible straightjacket they put on a whole generation.
please argue your case some more.
fraser.

YOU 2328

so glad to see that someone agrees with me about the drugs.  It's not worth it real music is so much better than drugs.  The beat of your heart is rythym life is rythym. That is all you need!!!!!  If you ever get to Baltimore look me up!!!  Saturday Feb 24,2001 is my show at the Sher-wes Gardens!!!!  They call me little Josephine Baker nobody shakes their boot like me!!!  Tanya Louise
30Bast710@aol.com

YOU 2329        WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN   sign in an office

FRI MARCH 9     PROGRESSION SESSIONS COOKIN'
Main Room - LTJ Bukem, Nookie, Makoto, MC Conrad
Cookin Room: Derrick May, Dave Angel, Raw Deal
THE END.  11/5AM- £12/£10/£8

YOU 2330

lifeminders.com@mailgate.lifeminders.com
if you ever find yourself on the mailing list of these bastards be warned
a)  THEY DISGUISE THEMSELVES AS "lifeminders" to sound small and personal
b)  THEY ARE IN FACT CONNECTED TO SEVERAL MEGA MULTINATIONALS
c) THEY COLLECT AND SELL CONSUMER PROFILES TO THEM
d)  THEY WILL NOT DELETE YOU FROM THEIR LIST WHEN YOU ASK
e)  EVEN, AFTER EIGHT REQUESTS, WHEN WE FINALLY THREATENED TO PUBLISH THIS ON THE UPGRADEmag to our 150,000 readers, THEY KEPT SENDING US STUFF
f)  IN THE END THIS IS THE ONLY ACTION WE COULD TAKE TO GET THEM OFF OUR BACKS.
g) IF THIS STILL DOES NOT WORK WE SHALL DO FURTHER RESEARCH ON THEIR SITE AND
PUBLISH THE NAMES OF THE COMPANIES WHO PAY THEM FOR THE SCAMS THEY PERPETRATE

anybody else out there had problems with these creeps?

YOU2331
London
SUN MARCH 4     BITCHES BREW
playing whatever-they-damn-well-please-thank-u-very-much. cosmo, nikki lucas and honorary bitches flava:  afro/latin/house/soul/disco/dub/jazz/rock-n-roll...whateva
plastic people, 147 curtain road, ec2  (Old Street tube) 8-12pm.  £3 before 10pm, £4 after    020 7739 6471 

"if i cant dance, its not my revolution"  
Emma Goldman great anarkist of our time.

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